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Alden Coleman is an anagram for Called No Name [userpic]

We're all losing to the machines.

June 25th, 2014 (08:53 pm)
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I had a fucking UP day today.

I ran out of my prozac 3 days ago. I found a bottle at work with 7 pills in it, so I took one. I also took a fat burner, Hydroxycut Hardcore Elite, drank 2 energy drinks, ate a protien bar, a couple of fiber one bars.

I sat at my desk and interneted. The total amount of work I did today was a simple calculation that I had made a spreadsheet for, helped someone set up the video conference hardware (twice), answered some emails, and delegated a task.

I was beaming by 2 in the afternoon. High on life.

On the other hand, I am completely and irreparably broken. I know that I know that I'm a pattern of information trapped in a mush of grey matter locked in a sack of mostly meat, an insignificant speck crawling on a ball of dirt that in of itself is an insignificant speck in the vast cold dark uncaring space.

And I couldn't have been happier about it.

On the drive home, ride share van, The new girl was talking about how she was getting tasked with re-working the training program, same recommendations I had made years ago.

It is incredibly frustrating. Before I switched to the Big G, I was programming thousands of possible scenarios into multi generator switchgear, capable of transferring a half dozen substations, automatically in closed transition with soft-load transfer, from utility to generator with the press of a single button.

And this week I plugged 5 numbers into a spreadsheet.

The entire fucking world is changing around us. There isn't a single job that isn't replaceable by a machine.

Self driving cars are coming. They're a decade around the corner. Do you know what that's going to do to fucking society. Truck drivers, gone. Taxi drivers, gone. People will be able to schedule a drive to work and a drive home. They won't need to own a car. A car will show up at your house, pick you up, drop you off, then pick some other guy up, drop him off.

Truck drivers gone, right? No big deal. But then so are the insurance adjusters, the legal teams, the people who make the little notepads that drivers record their driving miles and hours on.

Speeding tickets go away, as do most moving violations. There goes a huge chunk out of municipalities tax revenue. How will they pay to repair the roads?

People start moving to green energy. Solar, wind, cheap, reliable enough... but then they don't pay the city municipalities for their energy consumption. The cities can only charge for Sales Tax, or Energy Tax. About 50% of the cities revenue come from the Energy Tax. About 50% of the revenue goes towards Law Enforcement.

Money comes from nowhere. It's fucking loaned into existence. A bank comes and gives you a mortgage for your house. They write 1s and 0s into the ledger, + asset, your house, and - debt, the money they paid out to your previous home owner. It's real money they send out, though. They have the new asset in the bank ledger to prove it.

The head bank just looks at how much digital money it whipped up and says, hey, look, buy our Bonds because that's some nice stuff that'll pay out more in the future. Because it has to. Because if it doesn't, it all crumbles down.

Because the gold standard died in the 70s, the US Dollar is the default currency of the world, and it's only based on debt. A entire generation slave to debt of the past and present. A new generation enslaved to the commercial, the teevee, the internet, and the dollar.

Alden Coleman is an anagram for Called No Name [userpic]

Hello again, LJ, it's been a while.

March 26th, 2014 (01:14 am)
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1am rants are always fun, aren't they?

I'm at a point in life where we are hitting an overwhelming number of options. I'm currently working for the best company ever doing a job that I'm content at. Not happy, only content. It's a job that I can see myself doing for years and years, never really accomplishing anything of significance, and eventually retiring from.

MrsGroovy has finished college... 9 months ago. She hasn't yet had a full-time job in her field as a petroleum engineer.

We're heavily embedded in our local community: Boy Scouts, Cub Scouts, Martial Arts, Church...

My commute is killing me slowly. 57 miles each way, 114 miles per day, 2 hours plus in my car every work day. About $14 in gas each day, plus mileage on the car. 60.8 cents per mile for maintenance, according to some report, so 27360 miles annually, about $0.75 per mile including gas and maintenance, or about $20,000.

It really hurts on the 12 hour shift days. I'm gaining weight. Never find time to make it to a gym, even though I've got an impressive enough gym in my home and at my office. When I do work out, my knee and hip feel like I've got an ice pick jabbed in there.

I have a hard time talking about my job problems these days. How can I complain about the best company in the world? Still, I see corporatization occurring daily, growing pains, and no matter where you are people are assholes and you still have to deal with assholes.

That, and I'm not truly happy there.

So I told myself for the last few years that I was going to force the issue this year and drag the family, kicking and screaming, to move closer to work. When I broke the news to the kids it went pretty well, all things considered. LilGroovy is all excited about getting a new bedroom to himself that he won't have to share with GroovyJr. WGGirl wants to have a big yard so she can design and build a roller coaster.

The house hunting started in earnest in February. We've spent days looking and looking for a house to buy. Pryor, Sapulpa, Verdigris, Inola, Choteau, Coweta... All about 30-20 minutes closer to work for me. None of the houses were MrsGroovy's dream house, and none of the communities felt like home. This one doesn't have an open floor plan, that one doesn't have 4 bedrooms, this one has a neighborhood association, that one is across the street from some shady looking trailer park.

So we started looking for land. $30,000 an acre? No decent internet connections.

During this time my Grandpa's cancer finally claimed his life. He lived an amazing 5 years after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The weeks leading up to his death were filled with listening to bickering between family members over things that really don't matter in the long run... Why can't family come together and simply celebrate the life of a loved one? Why do we so often clash and hurt and lash out at each other when in pain. My sister ... She's going through her own personal issues at this time. She had little to no visible sympathy for my Mom, who just lost her Dad. The man who worked for years and years, often away from home, only to die alone in a hospice bed at 2 am one cold Saturday morning.

And so where am I going with my life? What am I doing? Do I keep working a job that I'm not really happy at, driving for hours each day, only to find myself worn out and withered, bitter and alone... I'm emotionally exhausted. I'm physically in pain due to my weight and my knee.

I'm back in a holding pattern, waiting to see if MrsG gets a job. She has an unofficial offer in the air, with promises of a good written offer in the works. It's been 3 weeks since she last heard from them, 3 months since her on site interview. Everyone tells us that the hiring process for this company is slow, but this is infuriating.

So here I sit, 1am, typing out how I feel. Thinking about going back to college. At nearly 34. My oldest child starting high school the same time I'm thinking of starting college. I know that I cannot do family + work + college. I'll fail miserably at all three. I'm already barely scraping by with just family + work.

I'm exploring options and feeling out the future with a strange mixture of hope and dread.

Alden Coleman is an anagram for Called No Name [userpic]

Litecoin

November 21st, 2013 (03:02 am)

With all the hubub over bitcoin this month, I'm going to start learning about litecoin...

LTpgLJpsBLHpW7SygN9d8wLhjugYu7VDuE

Alden Coleman is an anagram for Called No Name [userpic]

My tweets

November 2nd, 2013 (12:00 pm)
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Alden Coleman is an anagram for Called No Name [userpic]

My tweets

November 1st, 2013 (12:00 pm)
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